Love as the Foundation

Love is the foundation of every marriage, but not the sole pillar. There are so many factors that go into love as a foundation, and we may think that we have all the answers and a great understanding of love when we enter marriage.  But love is an emotion. Many people enter marriage believing that love is the sole pillar, a feeling that will last forever and carry you throughout the marriage. But the truth is, emotions are unsteady, temporary, and reactive and they change with circumstances. Although love as an emotion can be beautiful, it can also be unstable and should not be the only thing to consider when you are thinking about marriage.

Love as an emotion is what we typically associate with romantic love, butterflies, excitement, and deep affection. These feelings are God-given and important, but they are also temporary and influenced by circumstances. For example,

One day, you feel deeply connected. The next, life’s stress makes you feel distant.

When everything is good, love feels effortless. When trials come, love feels strained.

New love is exciting; but over time, it can get boring or mundane. The truth of the matter of love is this: If marriage is built only on emotional love, it will be fragile because emotions shift like the wind.

When we think about marriage, love initiates the desire for a man to propose to a woman and the woman to say “yes”. But wisdom, partnership and sacrifice is what will sustain the union.

God had a specific design in mind for marriage. His design was never about Love alone, but about partnership, and good stewardship.  The Word says in Genesis 2:18

“It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” With this scripture alone, God says that marriage is a partnership in purpose. Adam and Eve weren’t just in love; they were assigned to steward God’s creation together; as partners.

Love is the foundation that sets the structure, but it doesn’t complete the home. If love were all a marriage needed, why do people who “love” each other still divorce? Why do people who “love” each other, have sexless marriages? Why do people who “love” each other feel stuck and get into a routine? The answer is this! Love IS NOT ENOUGH TO SUSTAIN A MARRIAGE! Love is the foundation, but purpose/assignment determines what you build on that foundation.

 God’s 1^st marriage had a Kingdom assignment. In Genesis 1:26-28 When God created Adam and Eve, their love wasn’t the only reason for marriage but it was for stewardship over creation.

Their marriage had a purpose and an assignment:

• Be fruitful and multiply → Expand the Kingdom.
• Subdue and rule → Walk in dominion together.
• Reflect God's image → Show the world what covenant looks like.

This means marriage is more than love, it’s a Kingdom assignment. Love fuels the marriage, but purpose directs it toward Kingdom impact.

Many marriages fail not because love disappears, but because purpose was never clear. Couples fall in love, but don’t build anything together, so when emotions fade, they have no shared foundation or direction.

Love without direction leads to frustration and this frustration leads to disconnection. When love lacks direction, it creates tension and unmet expectations, which eventually cause emotional and spiritual distance between partners. As frustration builds, it becomes harder to communicate effectively or understand one another’s needs, leading to a breakdown in intimacy and unity. Without a clear purpose, the relationship loses its foundation, and both partners may feel unsupported, unfulfilled, or even hopeless. However, when love is directed towards a shared Kingdom purpose, frustration can be transformed into a catalyst for growth, deeper connection, and renewed commitment to the covenant. When love is connected to Kingdom purpose, marriage becomes a partnership in fulfilling God’s will on earth.

I would like to leave with you some things to consider about your marriage.  Have you and your husband connected Love to a Kingdom Purpose? Sit with your spouse and talk about this question. If you have to go separately, journal your separate responses and come back and discuss them, that’s fine too. Here are some practical ways that you can begin to make the connection between love and Kingdom.

1. Discover Your Kingdom Purpose Together

• Pray and ask: Why did God bring us together? What is our joint assignment?
• Identify spiritual gifts and calling areas.
• Align your marriage with ministry, business, or impact that advances the Kingdom. This means that both partners actively seek to integrate their marriage into God's broader purpose for their lives, community, and the world. It goes beyond personal fulfillment or maintaining a good relationship—it’s about using your relationship as a platform for God's mission and ensuring that everything you do together points to Him.

2. Prioritize Growth, Not Just Romance

• Love grows when you grow together spiritually, emotionally, and in purpose.
• Study the Word, serve together, and push each other toward destiny. Make connections between things that your spouse enjoys to the Word of God. This adds value to the relationship and makes your spouse feel heard, seen and accepted.

3. Fight for Unity, Not Just Love

• Satan doesn’t attack just love—he attacks unity. If you lose unity, you lose power (Matthew 18:19-20).
• Make being in agreement a priority (Amos 3:3—"Can two walk together unless they agree?").

4. Keep God at the Center

• A marriage without God at the center will drift into selfishness and survival mode.
• Worship, pray, and seek God together, not just individually.

This writing does not only highlight the importance of love but also emphasize that marriage is not just a relationship between two people—it is a divine assignment meant to reflect God's purpose and advance His Kingdom. By connecting love, covenant, and Kingdom purpose,  I hope to inspire couples all over the world, to see their marriage as a living, breathing part of God’s mission on earth.